


Bonds

by Inkera



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Happy Ending, Homeworld is Horrible, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Past Pearl/Rose Quartz (Steven Universe), Pearl Solidarity (Steven Universe), Pearl-centric (Steven Universe), Renegade Pearl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:48:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26292142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkera/pseuds/Inkera
Summary: They're bonded to their Diamonds in different ways, but one fact remains the same: Pearls are expected to obey without fault, even at the cost of their own well-being.None of it is personal. It’s just the way the world works. And nothing anybody will do will ever change that.-Tumblr: inkera0
Relationships: Blue Diamond's Pearl & Pearl (Steven Universe), Pearl & Rose Quartz (Steven Universe)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 46





	Bonds

**Author's Note:**

> Slightly canon-divergent, as some of the events don’t go exactly like the original story, but it mostly stays on track. And of course, I took some creative liberties with blue pearl/blue diamond
> 
> Inspired by this animatic by JankyBones. Pls check it out if you have time!  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s93WClpkRKc

“She cares, you know.”

Pearl jumps, not expecting the usually quiet Blue Pearl to address her so casually. The two of them stand guard outside Blue Diamond’s chambers, where she once again admonishes Pink for a particularly horrible stunt resulting in multiple poofed gems and a large mess currently being tended to by lesser pearls.

She thinks ‘lesser’ because none of them have the responsibilities of directly serving under a Diamond. They have no concept of the gallantry being associated with the title - _Pink Diamond’s personal pearl_ rolls off the tongue far better than _an emerald’s pearl,_ she thinks - and they’ll continue to live the rest of their lives in the position meant for them, like a ruby is made a common foot soldier and a sapphire a valued seer.

None of it is personal; it’s just the way the world works. And nothing anybody will do will ever change that.

However, the title feels less regal now that Pink Diamond is on her knees, begging forgiveness in front of the other Diamond. It’s not Pink’s fault in any way, of course; a Diamond is only as good as her pearl’s competence, and right now, Pink Diamond’s pearl is failing spectacularly.

She is at fault for not being more convincing in her stance against her Diamond’s more… _exuberant_ ideas. She is at fault for not anticipating everything that goes wrong when her Diamond carries out her idea anyway, against all counsel. She is at fault for not being a better pearl for her superior.

Pearl just barely remembers to respond, another testament to her own inadequacies. “Pardon?”

Blue Pearl simply smiles. “My Diamond only scolds Pink because she cares. She wouldn’t have suggested the joint colony venture otherwise.”

“That may be true, but it matters not. She’ll take the deal off the table after this fiasco.”

“I disagree.” Pearl peers over curiously to see Blue Pearl peering in the room with an inscrutable expression. Her mouth moves below the bangs enshrouding her eyes. “Diamonds can be unpredictable like that. I feel she truly wants Pink to succeed.”

“You may be correct,” says Pearl, taking the time to inspect her own Diamond who is crying now. A memory surfaces, unbidden, of a dark locked room. Of Pink being thrown in and left to rot, while Pearl stands guard and is forced to listen to her agonizing wails, sometimes for months on end. Of the usual playful excitement in her Diamond’s eyes being replaced with a dulled emptiness upon release. “But sometimes… I wonder. Sometimes, it doesn’t feel _right.”_

There’s a pause. Then Blue Pearl hums as she studies Pearl thoughtfully with a tilt of her head. Or at least, Pearl thinks she does; the other gem has a tendency of using her hair as a barrier between herself and the world. Perhaps Blue has the right idea.

“I wonder…” Blue Pearl repeats, biting her lip.

“What?”

“Or rather, do _you_ wonder…” She takes a breath. “…If things could be different?”

Pearl’s fingers fidget behind her back. “What do you mean?”

“If being a pearl didn’t have to be -” She gestures to Pearl and then their Diamonds, still immersed in their discussion. “- all of this. If it could be something more.”

Pearl knows they’re treading a dangerous boundary, one that would get them both shattered if the wrong gem happens to turn the corner and overhear them. She hisses, “That’s ridiculous.”

“Is it?”

“This is _exactly_ what pearls are made for. What would be the point of anything else? Who would we be then?”

“I’m not sure. I admit I didn’t think that far ahead.” Blue Pearl chuckles weakly. “I just think sometimes that I want it to stop.”

Pearl thinks back to her own failures that morning, to the stories told between pearls in horrified whispers - of a citrine using her pearl for combat practice, of Yellow Diamond using her previous pearl, the one before the Yellow Pearl she knows, for all kinds of scientific experiments.

She recalls running into White Diamond’s personal pearl, a web of cracks where her eye should be, as vividly as she remembers the scant whispers and pitying glances being thrown her way behind her back.

Pearl tries to imagine a world where she could fight like any other quartz, be as bold as any elite gem without having to worry about repercussions for rising above her station. Her mind pulls a blank. “I wouldn’t know what to do if things were different.”

Blue Pearl smiles sadly and sighs, leaning back against the wall. “It’s a nice thought though, isn’t it?”

“…It is.”

Their conversation is cut short by Blue Diamond’s booming yell that rattles the walls. Pearl risks a glance inside to witness her owner trembling upon the ground with hunched shoulders, arms wrapped tightly around herself.

Movement to her right catches her attention, and when she looks over, Blue Pearl is no longer smiling. She’s tense all over, fingers clenched in fists at her side, a slight tremor visible in her knees if Pearl peers closely enough.

The true extent of Blue Diamond’s ability dawns upon her. After all, a pearl would be able to better serve her superior if she could feel the entire range of her emotions, in order to better anticipate her needs.

It makes sense of course. But Pearl can’t help the sick feeling rising in her stomach any more than she can help the tinge of relief that her own Diamond doesn’t have such power.

Blue Pearl takes a steadying breath, forcing her hands to unclench. “I think about it all the time.”

“About what?”

“Being in control of my own feelings.” She lets out a shaky laugh. “And not feeling at all. Isn’t that ridiculous?”

“I think it’s sad,” Pearl says before she can weld her own mouth shut. But it’s out there and there’s no taking it back, and what little she can see of Blue Pearl’s pleasantly surprised face encourages her to continue before anyone can overhear. “I think you deserve better.”

Blue Pearl snaps her slack jaw shut before voicing Pearl’s concerns, curious. “Careful, that kind of talk will get you shattered.”

“It’s the truth,” Pearl mumbles.

“Well,” Blue states, looking strangely pleased. “I guess we’re all bound to our Diamonds in different ways. Me with emotion, Yellow with false bravado, and you…”

“What _about_ me?”

Blue taps her bottom lip thoughtfully. “Perfection?”

Pearl furrows her brow. “What’s wrong with wanting to do things right?”

“Nothing,” says Blue. “Nothing at all. Although…” She glances into the room to make sure their owners are still distracted before continuing. “Pink Diamond herself is far from perfect, and sometimes you put yourself in a cage of your own making. As if the life of a pearl isn’t enough.” She giggles, and Pearl feels her face flush in embarrassment. “How silly.”

Pearl crosses her arms defiantly. “Regardless of what you believe, my Diamond deserves nothing less than perfection - especially from _me._ And especially with her current goal.”

“Ah, a colony.” Blue reaches up to tuck a strand of cerulean hair behind an ear, glancing out a nearby window. White Diamond’s imposing head ship looms ominously in the distance as a constant reminder of their status. “They can be quite beautiful, you know. I hope you get to see it one day. Endless blue skies and rich, lush foliage. So full of life - at least, before the injectors. It can be… life-changing.”

“That makes no sense. Our lives are determined for us the moment we’re created. How can one colony affect that?”

“It broadens your perspective. It can inspire certain ideas.”

_And is therefore dangerous._

“If it helps,” says Blue. “A more comprehensive worldview would allow you to better serve your Diamond.”

Pearl narrows her eyes then clicks her tongue, unwilling to entertain that train of thought. “All that matters is obtaining a fully developed, functioning, and _productive_ colony. My Diamond will finally be seen in a new light by her peers, one she truly deserves.” Her eyes trail to the open window, gazing wistfully. “And maybe… I can finally make her happy.”

Blue grows silent.

Pearl frowns. Perhaps she’s said the wrong thing. She is rather new to all this compared to the other Diamond pearls. “Surely you feel the same.”

“All we can do is make sure our Diamonds are happy,” Blue states evenly, as if reciting from a script. She lowers her chin to her chest in defeat and sighs deeply. “And I’m sure you’ll make her very happy one day.”

What _should_ fill Pearl with pride causes her to worry instead as a tear slides its way down Blue’s cheek, soundlessly dripping off her chin and onto the flawless white tile.

In that moment, Pink Diamond storms from the room without so much of a glance toward Pearl before disappearing through another door at the end of the hall. A brief glance into the room shows Blue Diamond sobbing quietly into her hands.

“I must attend to my duties,” Blue Pearl murmurs almost bitterly, wiping away the stray tear with a swipe of her thumb. She brushes past Pearl before stopping in her tracks, one hand clutched to the door frame, and gestures with her head to the door Pink Diamond has exited through. “A pearl shouldn’t be far from her owner.”

Pearl turns and hurries after her Diamond without another word.

“No, don’t do this!”

Pearl can only watch in silent horror as Blue Diamond slams the door shut on Pink Diamond’s tear-streaked face.

“Someday you’ll understand, Pink. Do you think I _like_ punishing you?!” Blue Diamond yells through the locked door before turning on her heel and storming away, head clutched in her hands. Gradually, Pink’s pleading screams slowly transform into heavy sobbing and then to dejected silence as she seems to accept her fate. Pearl can do nothing but stand vigil before her Diamond’s prison until Blue Diamond sees fit to release her.

The hallway is devoid of windows, so Pearl loses track of how much time passes, with only the occasional weeping from her owner and the burden of her own incompetence to keep her company.

She keeps her mind busy going over potential colony plans for when Pink eventually convinces the other Diamonds she’s ready. This is just a minor setback - Blue had been the first to suggest the joint colony idea, which means she sees _something_ in Pink worth believing in. It’s a long shot, but it’s also worlds ahead of convincing either Yellow or White Diamond, who both see Pink as nothing more than a nuisance at this point.

Pearl will have all the plans laid out once Pink is released. They’ll start by surveying the environment and deciding on the optimal points of injection. While waiting for the first quartz soldiers to emerge, the lapis lazulis will be sent in to start terraforming in order to make way for the bismuths to construct important gem buildings.

This part could be their chance to impress the other Diamonds, Pearl imagines. She sees a mysterious spire in the middle of the ocean, filled with relics of their culture - a place for elite gems to sight-see. A giant floating sky arena is her next thought, and she smiles, imagining swaths of gems proving their mettle in the tournaments they’ll hold there, each one of them fighting for the favor of Pink Diamond.

And Pearl will be at her right hand through it all. Once they prove themselves. Once they get out of here.

A door slides open from the other end of the hallway, accompanied by the soft patter of footsteps.

“Oh.” It’s Blue Pearl. “You’re still here.”

Pearl regards her with unfocused, weary eyes. “Of course.”

“I’d assumed your Diamond would rather you be busy with other things.”

“How can she bother with such things after _your_ Diamond -” Pearl sucks in a breath through gritted teeth, calms herself before her voice raises beyond her control. A pearl has no place saying such things about a superior, especially when her owner is in earshot. “Apologies, I am to wait here until she is released.”

“I see.” Blue stops in front of Pearl, frowning.

“Can I help you?”

“It’s been nearly two years.” Pearl blinks. “I’m here on behalf of my Diamond to see if Pink Diamond is ready to apologize.”

“I’m sure she is.” She has to be, even if she hasn’t said a word since the start. But they can’t keep her locked in this terrible dark room forever.

Blue raises a hand to knock but falters upon getting a better look at Pearl. “Have you not moved at all?”

“Of course not. My Diamond remains imprisoned.”

“There aren’t any windows here. No contact with the sun.”

“I’m well aware.” She’s been aware since the first inkling of fatigue in her limbs, the way her form would glitch every so often… How she would keep her eyes welded shut to further immerse herself in her thoughts, anything to get away from the reality of her situation.

It’s not the first time she’s had to do this, and it won’t be the last. But from what Blue said earlier, it’s definitely been the longest. Perhaps this is also how Pink Diamond retains her sanity (assuming Diamonds even need to worry about the issues of lesser gems; they’re better in every way, after all).

Pearl’s thoughts, once the products of a well-oiled machine, have been buzzing with static; disconnected. She notices the difference in the back of her mind somewhere (in a tiny box where no other pearl in her mind is allowed to touch; where she keeps all the feelings irrelevant to her current mission) but keeps it hidden - alone and untouched - because no good would come out of processing it.

She barely processes the weight of Blue’s hand resting on her shoulder. “You’re shivering.”

Pearl shrugs it off, stabilizes herself on the wall behind her to keep from falling over. “I am still capable of serving.”

“You can barely _stand.”_

She doesn’t like that Blue Pearl is here to see her like this. If anything, it’s just one more reminder that Pearl is never going to be enough for her Diamond, no matter what she does.

She wasn’t created in her owner’s image like Blue or Yellow Pearl were. Falling apart in front of Blue like this is just another reminder of her own cyan irises and pale skin that look out of place in Pink Diamond’s court, just another indication that _Pearl_ is likely the reason her Diamond is so miserable all the time.

Just as Pearl opens her mouth to defend herself, the door at the end of the hallway slides open, and Blue Diamond comes strolling through.

“My Diamond.” Blue Pearl salutes and bows as she approaches. “I was just about to carry out your orders.”

The Diamond waves her hand. “No need, I’ve changed my mind. I want to hear this for myself.” She knocks on the door. “Pink, have you learned your lesson? Are you ready to come out?”

No response.

“Pink, _please._ Don’t be difficult.”

Silence.

Blue Diamond’s voice booms in the tiny corridor, and Pearl sees the other pearl tense in response. “Fine, if you want to stay for a few more years - no, a _decade_ this time - be my guest! Maybe the extra time in there will shape you into the Diamond I know you can be. You know, White and Yellow don’t believe in you, but _I’m_ on your side! I just wish you would realize that already, Pink.”

Blue Diamond stomps out without another word.

Pearl, mind still hazy, feels a hand on her arm.

From this distance, Blue Pearl’s frantic eyes are just visible beneath her bangs, darting up and down the corridor. She speaks in a whisper. “Come. Let’s get you out of here.”

Pearl rips her arm out of Blue’s grip. “I’m not about to abandon my duties.”

“You _can’t_ stay here any longer.”

Her feet are numb against the tile, but her mind remains fixated on one very simple fact, much like she’s been fixated in a single spot for two years now. And by the sounds of it, it’s just the start. “My feelings are irrelevant. You’d think an older gem like you would understand.”

There’s a furious wildness in the blue gem’s eyes that Pearl’s never seen before in her that it nearly cuts through the fog. Her fists are clenched as she leans in, nose to nose, before hissing. “Quit being so _stubborn._ I’m trying to help you!”

Pearl’s lips part in shock.

“Who _knows_ what kind of state you’ll be in after ten more years of this. If you just come with me…” Blue Pearl trails off, takes a deep shuddering breath and unclenches her hands. This time when she speaks, it’s calmer and more controlled - more like the Blue Pearl everyone sees following behind Blue Diamond. “Please. Just let me help.”

“I…” Leaving her Diamond’s side for personal gain is unthinkable, but here Blue is asking her to do just that. “I can’t.”

“Just a step outside. Just enough to help you feel better. What’s happening to you isn’t _fair.”_

“You’re right. And it’s not fair to my Diamond, which is why I can’t leave. But I can still fix this! Once we get out of here, I'll work harder, and she'll get her colony, and everything will be fixed!” Pearl babbles on as Blue’s hand lets go and droops back down to her side. “The other Diamonds may have given up on her, but I’ll be by her side through it all.”

“You… really believe in her.”

“Of course,” says Pearl without a trace of doubt in her voice.

Across the hallway, the door slides open again, revealing a sliver of Blue Diamond beyond the crack. “I just noticed you hadn’t followed. Come, Pearl. We have reports to assess.”

Blue swallows and salutes. “Yes, my Diamond.” She pauses to take one last look at the other gem who remains steadfast in her vigil before departing.

Nobody is around Pearl when the exhaustion hits again, when she can’t hold back the tears that force their way down her cheeks.

A soft, muffled whimper comes from behind the cell door, and a horrible part of Pearl is glad she’s not alone in this.

Thousands of years later on Earth, as a giggling Pink Diamond - reformed into a quartz - pulls Pearl by the hand to dance through the flowers, she realizes Blue has been right this whole time.

It _is_ life-changing.

They see each other again on Earth’s newly-built sky arena. Pearl knows she’s taking way too many risks with this stunt - she knows that getting captured is _not an option,_ especially with the knowledge she bears - but just as she’s about to bow out, Rose pushes her into it anyway.

_“If you can get out, maybe she can, too.”_

Surprisingly, it’s not hard for her to slip past the oblivious amethyst guards and blend into the crowd. As a pearl, she thinks maybe the ability to subvert and distract are innate, or perhaps they are learned skills that every pearl needs in order to survive.

Or perhaps pearls just never receive anything more than a cursory glance, even from other lower class gems. Regardless, she quickly makes her way to the basement.

A deft slip of a message from a turned-rebel topaz to Blue Diamond’s pearl was all it took for the two to meet in the dusty enclosure and out of sight from prying eyes. Blue Pearl is already waiting, leaning against an immaculately designed statue with no other function than looking pretty.

“So it _is_ you,” murmurs the blue gem as Pearl approaches. “The Renegade Pearl.”

“You knew?”

“I’ve had my suspicions.” A hint of a smile plays on her lips. “Some of your observations on Homeworld were… telling.”

“As were yours, which is why I’m here.” There’s no time for small talk if their plan is to be carried out flawlessly, so Pearl straightens before getting to the point. “I want you to come with me.”

Blue rears back. “Are you insane?” Her head whips to the only exit to make sure no one’s listening in. She doesn’t know it, but Topaz is keeping a lookout for them, so the possibility of an eavesdropper is the least of their worries.

Pearl can’t resist a chuckle. “Only slightly.”

“A Crystal Gem rebellion against _four Diamonds_ and their armies. Do you really think you can win?”

Pearl pushes on; she’s expected this. “I _know_ we can.”

“…You would forsake your own Diamond?”

Pearl is tempted to spill everything right then and there, but she’s still unsure of where the other gem’s loyalty lies. Instead, she settles for a half-truth. “I would rather shatter while facing the Diamonds than forsake myself.”

A tug in her mind urges her to replace the last word with _Rose,_ but she needs Blue to trust her completely, and the last time they talked candidly about such matters was in that hallway thousands of years before.

“Stop it.” Blue clutches at her head, shaking. “Don’t say that so casually; I’ve seen and _felt_ her shatter countless gems. To think the next one could be you…”

“It won’t,” Pearl urges. “Not if we win. You can help us!”

Blue bites her lip, taking a moment to study the visage of unwavering conviction in the gem before her. It’s a striking contradiction to the compliant, jumpy gem she used to know. “You really believe that.”

“Without a doubt.” She pushes her shoulders back with a sense of confidence that’s taken decades to master. ”And I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think you could, too.”

Blue scoffs. “You always imagine the best in others. Even when there’s nothing there to see.”

“I don’t think I’m wrong about this.” The blue gem had been the first to open Pearl’s eyes that maybe things didn’t have to be stifling and cruel - that maybe a pearl could learn to wield a sword and fight for her freedom. The least Pearl can do is return the favor.

“You know what you’re asking of me.”

“Yes.”

“And yet you still do?”

“I have faith,” replies Pearl, stepping into the other gem’s space. “I have faith you’ll do what’s best for _you.”_

“What’s best for a pearl…” Blue wraps her arms around herself. “…is what they’re made for. You said so yourself.”

“I was _wrong.”_

“I’m not so sure you were,” whispers Blue, head tilting to the ceiling where her Diamond was likely sitting directly above in her palanquin. “I’ve lasted this long. Maybe I wasn’t meant for anything more.”

“That’s not -”

She continues, breath hitching, “Maybe you’ll just end up shattered anyway because that’s just the way things are. You’ll lose, and then I’ll lose you forever. That’s the way everything has always been, and that’s the way they’ll continue to be.”

Pearl grabs her by the shoulders, and she can feel the blue gem trembling beneath her grip. “Listen to me! I know how trapped you feel and how much you’ve suffered, and all that can go away if you just _come with me!”_

“How was it so easy for you?” Blue whimpers, a hand clutched over her mouth. “How can you stand there, after all we’ve both lived through, and ask that of me?”

Guilt pulls at Pearl’s stomach, and as much as she wants to shout at the other gem, to shake her until she snaps out of the programming instilled in each pearl from the day they were created, she knows she can’t make Blue drop everything on a whim and risk the only life she’s ever known. After all, Pearl is still serving her own Diamond, albeit under a different name.

It’s never that easy.

Except, part of it was - for Pearl. All things considering, she’s lucky that her Diamond is different. Some might whisper behind closed doors _off-color_ and _wrong_ because Pink is _just_ different enough from the other Diamonds that until recently, her biggest responsibility had been hosting balls, and she’s _just_ different enough that she’s only recently received a colony after thousands of years of asking.

She’s just different enough that having a life on Earth and leading a rebellion against Homeworld is her and Pearl’s new reality.

On the other hand, Blue Pearl is a perfect creation to complement her Diamond’s personality with an equally perfect appearance to match, unlike Pearl who was made for Pink Diamond but came out with an oblong gem and cyan irises, who was made for the purpose of “fixing” her flaws. Pearl was told she was a mere stand-in to replace another who failed in her duties, so she wondered each day on Homeworld if that was the day she would be replaced as well. And even with all of Blue’s perfections in Homeworld’s eyes, her Diamond still wouldn’t hesitate to shatter or reset her if she stepped out of line.

Still, Pearl has to try. Perhaps, despite all of Blue’s perfections, she could be _just_ different enough to take that first step.

She pulls Blue into a hug, clutching the trembling gem to her chest. “You were right about organic colonies. I’ve barely had a glimpse, but it’s full of beauty and life.” Pearl presses a desperate kiss to the top of her head, clenching her eyes shut. “I want to see the rest with you. I want to show you that it gets better - that you _deserve_ better.”

“What if I don’t, though?”

“What?”

“What if I don’t deserve that?” Blue lets out a sob, and Pearl feels wetness on her shoulder. “Everything _she_ feels, _I_ feel. Our existences have become so intertwined… Maybe I’m secretly just like her.”

“You’re not a shatterer.”

 _“Yet.”_ Her response echoes uncomfortably in the chamber. “I’ve felt her sheer glee at crushing gems beneath her feet, and sometimes I’m unsure where her joy ends and where my relief at surviving one more day begins. Sometimes… I wonder if I like it. Feeling that kind of power over other gems. Power that a simple pearl can never come close to.”

The extent to which Pearl can relate makes her go cold. On her darkest nights, when Rose goes off to scout and she has nothing to do but stare off into the tiny speck in the night sky where she knows Homeworld to be, she wonders how much she enjoys the irony of a pearl cutting down bigger and stronger quartzes made for combat - and the adrenaline she gets from feeling her steel pass through their physical forms.

Then Rose returns, and she finds her place in her arms, and all of that is shoved to the back of her mind for another day.

Blue whispers, “What if that’s who I am?”

Pearl’s eyes go hard, tugging her closer, fingers digging into her back. “There’s only one way to find out, and that’s to take control of your own life. Wouldn’t you like to be free to express yourself and feel your own emotions, not having to worry if they’re yours or someone else’s?”

Blue whispers against Pearl’s shoulder, “I would love that.”

“So come with me.”

“But everything would be different.”

Pearl imagines in her mind Blue taking her hand to sneak out the exit where Topaz is waiting for them. Their plan succeeds, the rebellion wins, and Homeworld is pushed back, leaving them to travel the world together with Rose. The Diamonds leave them alone for the rest of their lives - no more salutes and no more taking orders.

They’re happy and free, and being _just a pearl_ is a thing of the past.

Her illusion shatters when Blue pulls back and steps out of arm’s reach. “And… I wouldn’t know what to do if things were different.”

 _No…_ Pearl chokes up. “Don’t do this.”

“There’s only one thing I _can_ do. And that is to do what I’ve always done.”

Pearl wants to scream - to make her _see._ “Don’t you get it? It doesn’t have to be like that anymore. Everything can change right here and right now if you just take that first step! If you just _trust_ me.”

“Always the perfectionist.” Blue pushes the hair out of her eyes, revealing striking azure orbs staring back, glistening with tears. “When will you learn that you can’t fix everything?”

Pearl sees the guilt and resignation in her posture as well as a determination she’s seen in countless other pearls on Homeworld with a will to survive just _one more day,_ and while she wants to reach out again for the blue gem, she knows it won’t matter. Pearl’s failed again, just like she’s failed her Diamond in the past - except, this one feels more substantial.

Her failure here is one that Blue will pay the full price for once Pearl departs, manifested through years of silence and emotional bondage to a being with so much power that she will never fully understand the impact she has on others.

Blue tenses suddenly, and her eyes are once again concealed beneath strands of blue as she lowers her gaze to the floor. “She’s angry. Something is happening.”

Pearl’s run out of time. Rose will be expecting her. As much as she hates giving up, and as much as she hates the thought of leaving the other pearl to a Diamond’s mercy for countless years more, she knows there’s nothing more she can do. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“Of course. I’ve made it this far, haven’t I?”

“And…” Pearl trails off, inspecting her friend for what might be the last time, taking in the clenched fists and gritted teeth, the result of emotions that aren’t her own. Her eyes trail the imaginary chains around Blue’s thin wrists and ankles - the other end she knows are held firmly in Blue Diamond’s grip, sitting just above in her palanquin. The words taste like ash in her mouth. “I hope that in the end… you’re happy.”

Blue manages a weak chuckle before forcing her body to relax, reaching up to scrub away the fresh tears dripping from her eyes. “Regardless of what I think of your rebellion, I truly hope you succeed.” She turns her back, unable to look at the Renegade any longer. “And no matter what happens… I hope you’re happy, too.”

Later, when Pearl and Rose make it back to Earth and recruit the newly-formed fusion, the rebellion leader confronts her lone second-in-command.

“It’s no use,” Pearl replies as they make their way through the forest. The fusion follows closely, inspecting the trees and insects with a childlike wonder. Pearl imagines Blue might have done the same, and there’s a sudden ache in her chest. “No matter what I said, she just wouldn’t listen.”

“I’m sorry, Pearl,” comforts Rose, and she stops to take a seat on a boulder by the stream. She pulls Pearl by the hand to sit down next to her. “It’s hard to break away when that’s all you’ve ever known. But at least you tried.”

“It wasn’t enough.” Pearl buries her face in her hands. _“I_ wasn’t enough.”

“Not everything is your fault. You can’t make people follow you.”

 _“You_ do,” Pearl says, looking up. She winces at the implication, noticing how Rose furrows her brow. “I-I just mean you always know the right thing to say. You make people _want_ to follow.”

Rose shakes her head and gives a pained sort of smile. “You’ve got it all wrong, Pearl. The drive to push back against injustice, to fight for a cause you believe in against overwhelming odds… That comes from within. Sometimes I’m able pull that out of them, but other times Homeworld’s ideology ends up winning them over instead, as you’ve witnessed first-hand.”

“She _hated_ it there. I could feel it.” Pearl watches as their new recruit splashes through a nearby puddle, giggling at the grasshopper that jumps away into the tall grass. “She has that innate strength to fight back but then decided to stay in that miserable life anyway.” Her chest shudders and fresh tears make their way down her cheeks as she sobs for what could have been. “I just don’t understand.”

“Pearl…” Rose runs a soothing hand along her back.

“She just needed to trust me.”

“You _know_ it’s more than that.”

Truthfully, she’s always known a pearl’s true nature would be hard to break free from. Sometimes, she wonders how she would fare in Blue Pearl’s place - whether she’d have the strength to take her life back from Homeworld’s cruel clutches if her own Diamond hadn’t encouraged her. She figures she might have done the same as Blue because logically joining a rebellion isn’t the best option for survival.

Still, that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

That’s when the fusion chooses to approach, as Pearl sobs heavily into Rose’s neck, and as she’s nearly completely engulfed within the larger woman’s embrace. “I don’t mean to interrupt, but…”

Pearl refrains from sending a heated glare her way.

“Did you need something?” Rose answers, as sweet and patient as ever, and Pearl can feel the warm smile in her voice from where she’s snuggled into Rose’s chest.

“Not exactly.” The fusion steps closer, feet shuffling on gravel. “I’ve decided on a name.”

“Oh?”

“I’d like to be called Garnet,” she says, voice lilting up in excitement.

“Garnet.” Rose tries out the word in her mouth before chuckling, soft and appreciative. Pearl feels the vibrations on her cheek. “What a beautiful name.”

“Thank you. I think so, too.”

“Welcome to the rebellion, Garnet.”

Sniffling, Pearl peaks a glance at the new recruit through blurred vision. A fusion of two entirely different gems; the first of her kind. Her very existence is a condemnation of Homeworld and everything it stands for, and the irony of them running into her upon failing to convince Blue to join them nearly sends a fresh wave of tears down her cheeks.

Maybe they have more in common than she originally thought.

And if this fusion - no, _Garnet_ \- wants to start a new life here on Earth away from the tyrannical overseers that want to shatter her, perhaps their trip to the sky arena was more profitable than Pearl imagines.

Perhaps… there’s still hope.

Thousands of years later, the war ends. Pearl loses Rose and gains a son. The empire crumbles.

They construct Little Homeworld in its place - a safe haven for gems of all facets and sizes to come and start a new life on Earth, unbound by purpose and the expectations of a forgotten era.

It’s a dream come true, and Pearl can barely believe her eyes the moment Blue Pearl materializes on the warp pad in front of her.

Blue smiles and gives a little wave. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Pearl covers her smile, laughing even as tears pour free from her eyes, even as Blue goes in for a hug and the two cling to each other with an old desperation generated through centuries wondering - _praying_ \- that the other was okay. But none of that matters anymore in the new world they’ve built.

No more secrets, no more lies. No more forcing unreachable expectations on herself now that she realizes her true worth. Now, Pearl can sit back and just _live._

For the first time in Blue’s life, she loses herself in messy, uncontrollable tears, comforted by the fact that they are completely and undeniably _hers._

They both took the long way around, but they did it. They’re finally free.

Pearl whispers as a weight is lifted from their shoulders, as Blue heaves a sob into her neck, “Welcome back.”

**Author's Note:**

> And in the end, they were both happy ;-; Jeeze I’ve had this drafted for months and only now got back around to it. 
> 
> I reallyyyyy wanted to include some Pearl/Blue Pearl content, but I just couldn't fit it in in a way that wouldn't detract from the main idea. I love these two and want to write a connected fic later whenever I get the time. 
> 
> The bit about gems not working properly after a long time without contact with a sun is based on an interview that basically called gems “solar-powered robots.” I can’t remember where it was from exactly. 
> 
> I wanted to keep the mention of Diamonds uppercase while everyone else remains lowercase to show the class disparity between gems a bit more. "The Renegade Pearl" was capitalized to show how much of a threat a gem functioning outside her purpose was to Homeworld (not really to the Diamonds but to other lesser gems & Homeworld's ideology in general).
> 
> As you can see, I have a lot of thoughts about the diamonds and Homeworld society in general. I know they’ve changed, but a lot of it was from self-interest/had to do with Pink, another Diamond, and I wanted to show more of how “lesser gems” were affected. 
> 
> Please let me know in the comments what you thought/if you believe differently. Thanks for reading!


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